Buck Strickland’s wife finally kicks him out, fed up with his drinking, gambling and womanizing. A despondent and lonely Buck asks Luanne to give him Bible lessons. His attempts to get closer to Luanne are thwarted when half a dozen other guys intrude on his poolside Bible lesson with a bikini-clad Luanne, but when Buck makes an inspiring speech about how he has seen the light, everyone is convinced that Buck has really changed. Later, an apparently reformed Buck asks Luanne to marry him, but when she turns him down, Buck is furious and goes off on another bender. It’s up to Hank to show Buck that “Lady Propane” is the real key to his salvation.

Hank takes Bobby to work at Strickland Propane, where Bobby shocks his father by using unethical sales tactics to sell grills. Meanwhile, Bill gets his foot stuck to a weather balloon and winds up flying around the town.

To toughen up Bobby, Hank decides to send him to Cotton’s old boot camp, unaware that lawsuits have altered the severe conditions.

When Cotton hears of the new “softer” side of the camp, he declares mutiny & takes over as camp Seargeant & promptly places Bobby in “The Hole”.

Peggy, Minh and Nancy resolve to save an after-school program from being shut down, but political back-stabbing ensues when all three of them want to run for a seat on the school board. Each one turns on the other, and in the course of all of the trickery, they lose sight of what is important.

Hank makes weekend plans without consulting Peggy, and the fallout drives them to a marriage counselor. The therapist learns that one of the couple’s dreams is to own his-and-hers motorcycles, and suggests they buy one and share it in an effort to bring them together. His plan backfires when, on the advice of a middle-aged biker couple, the pair head to Sturgis, S.D., for an annual biker gathering. Hank refuses to share the driving with Peggy, fearing that he will be mocked, but when Hanks glasses get trampled, and he can’t see…he has no alternative but to take a back seat.

Worried about how Dale is raising Joseph, John Redcorn asks Hank to take the boy he fathered on a vision quest. It’s Dale who winds up having a vision — and it leads him to decide that he’s really an Indian. To John Redcorn’s horror, Dale starts to “train” Joseph in the Indian way, shown to him through a series of odd dreams. Dales dream interpretation is all wrong, and takes him and Joseph to the zoo, to kill some pandas.

Buck comes up with a scam to make money off of Luanne’s good looks, by putting her in the boxing ring. After a few bouts where Luanne dominates her opponents, she grows confident. Believing that the set-up bouts are real, she calls on Frieda Foreman for her biggest match yet. Hank warns her of the charade, but Luanne has a point to prove.

The Mega Lo Mart has a pest-control problem, and the manager asks Hank to recommend an exterminator. Though fearing that Dale will screw it up, Hank reluctantly recommends him for the job, because he needs the work. The extermination process begins, and he soon suspects that the real culprit is not rats, not mice, but Mega Lo Mart spokesman Chuck Mangione. With hank’s reputation on the line, he takes matters into his own hands.

Peggy forces Luanne to quit her job as a waitress, and then signs her up for a course on enterpreneurism. There she meets Trip Larsen, head of Larsen Pork Products. Trip takes an interest in Luanne, and she soon becomes his girlfriend. Peggy suspects that Trip may be crazy, but when she orders Luanne to break up with him, Luanne refuses and moves in with Trip at his mansion. Trip forcibly dyes Luanne’s hair red and makes her dress in a milkmaid’s outfit. Luanne discovers that he is trying to turn her into the Larsen Pork Products Girl, an advertising character his grandfather created.

Peggy, who yearns to meet more people who love books, takes over a local independent bookstore. The store starts losing money, so Peggy allows Dale to sell guns there. The gun sales pass the book interests, and Peggy begins to sadden and turn her back on the book idea. Especially when the book club elitist snub Peggy at their dinner party.

When Hank falls through his kitchen floor, he discovers the underground escape tunnel Dale has been building. What’s worse, Hank can’t move back into his house until the floor is repaired, and he is forced to move in with the Gribbles, where Dale’s annoying habits threaten to push Hank over the edge. When Hank accidentally cuts off Dale’s finger with a skilsaw, Dale claims he did it on purpose. A judge orders Hank to stay 100 yards away from Dale at all times, and to attend anger management classes.

Bobby quits the football team as towel manager, to grow roses. His preference for gardening over gridiron irks Hank, until he enters Bobby in a rose-growing contest & finds that he enjoys it as well. The fun ends for Bobby when Hank takes over,and finds them a sponsor. Eventually Hank’s lust for winning kills the love for the hobby.

Hank and Bobby go head to head in a craze imported from Canada: dog dancing. Hank catches Bobby Dog Dancing with LadyBird, and he is furious. He demands that Bobby stop. Bobby takes on Connie’s dog, ‘Doggie’ as his next partner, and they begin to train. Meanwhile, LadyBird lets Hank know that she wants to dance, so the competition begins, Old school vs. New age.

When a competition comes to town, they showcase their talents, along with Bill, who purchased a Rottweiller that hates him.

Hank is discouraged when Bobby takes a home economics course, until he starts to reap the benefits. Bobby learns to cook, clean and sew better than Peggy, causing a jealous streak that leaves Peggy a bit unstable during the holidays. After she takes off with the raw Thanksgiving turkey on Bobby’s bike, Hank realizes that he needs to make ammends.

Connie’s delinquent cousin, Tid Pao is staying with the family, due to some drug debts that she is hiding from back home. Bobby falls for her thug-life ways, and makes Connie jealous. When Bobby drops Connie as his science partner to be Tid Pao’s, problems pop up. Unknown to Bobby, he helped Tid Pao make a meth lab for their science project. It is up to Connie to pull Bobby out of a big mess.

When Bill disgusts everyone with his ability to guzzle hot dogs in a few seconds,he is depressed. Until a sexy woman from the International Federation of Competitive Eating (the NFL of competitive eating) groupie encourages Bill to sign up for the big contest. Bill’s dream seems to be shattered when it turns out that Dale is better at competitive eating than he is.

Hank likes the clean-cut music of the boy-band 4Skore, but when he takes Bobby to a 4Skore concert, he is shocked to find that the band does suggestive dance moves that Bobby imitates with his new girlfriend, Jordan. His reaction brings a complaint from Jordan’s parents, a “progressive” couple who are allowing their daughter to have a coed slumber party. Despite Hank’s refusal, Bobby wants to go. Meanwhile, Nancy and Minh rank the sexiness of the men in the neighborhood, and Peggy is mortified when Hank is tied with Bill for last place.

It is revealed that Hank has a long-lost half-brother, who disowns his American relatives. Angered by this, Cotton plans to spit in the face of the Japanese Emperor Akihito at a ceremony honoring WW2 veterans later that night. As the Hill Brothers try to stop their father, they come to realize how much they have in common. Meanwhile, Bobby develops a relationship with his dance partner at the local arcade.

The Hills head to Japan because Cotton wants to apologize for his actions in WWII. The grizzled vet says he plans to address the widow of a soldier he killed. Peggy arranges to cover the visit for the local paper, but the family arrives to find it has become an overblown media event. Cotton admits to Hank that the “widow” was never married, and the “action” did not occur in battle. Meanwhile, back home, Dale and Bill prove themselves dedicated house sitters by dressing up as Hank and Peggy; and Luanne finds a replacement dog when she thinks she has killed Ladybird.

Bill tries to get the attention of a beautiful jogger, by setting a trap in the street. She trips and falls, hurting her ankle but instead she goes home with Boomhauer. For the first time in his life Boomhauer finds himself in love, and heartbroken… like so many he has left behind.

Hank repairs a propane-powered hot tub for a bikini-clad Nancy Gribble, and starts to have dreams about him and Nancy grilling burgers in the nude. When Peggy finds out, she concludes that Hank is bored with her and that they need to spice up their marriage by going to a nude beach.

Dale and Nancy are renewing their marriage vows, and Nancy wants to invite Dale’s estranged father, Bug, a rodeo performer. Dale hates his father for making a pass at Nancy on their wedding day, but when Hank goes to see Bug, he discovers that the rodeo is a gay rodeo, and Dale’s dad is gay.

Peggy encourages lonely Luanne to join a sorority, but the snobbish sorority girls won’t have anything to do with her. So Luanne joins Omega House, a sorority where everyone is accepted and everyone is named “Jane,” not realizing that it’s actually a cult that brainwashes lonely young women. Meanwhile, Buck Strickland tells Hank to kill his emus, but Hank and his friends can’t bear to do it.

When Texas is out of Hank’s favorite Alamo Beer, he is eager to find out why. When his questions go unanswered, Peggy gains employment at the company to find out. Peggy doesn’t want to divulge the reason because of a clause that she has signed–a vow of secrecy. Hank turns on Peggy for her company loyalty, and Peggy turns on Alamo, for their customer disloyalty.

Kahn covets membership in an all-Asian country club, and is invited…if he brings Hank and his family along. Hank is the one who is targeted for membersip, but only to keep the club from being Asian exclusive.

When Hank and Dale find more interest in the activities of the other’s son, they switch roles, Hank helps Joseph with sports, and Dale reads lines for a play with Bobby. After thinking about their differences, Dale comes to the conclusion, that he is not Josephs biological father–an alien is.

After learning the Army used him as a guinea pig for an experimental drug, Bill gets drunk and steals a tank, but Dale reveals that the information is wrong, Bill was not used as an experiment. The guys have to prove to Bill that his life is as it is without military tampering, and get him to surrender the tank.

Unable to find a full-time teaching job, Peggy agrees to go to work with Hank at Stickland Propane. An idea that Hank is much fonder of than Peggy. When the opportunity arrises for Peggy to teach full time, she lies about her religion, to teach at a Catholic school.

When Cotton’s VFW has to close down due to a shortage of members, Hank tries to get Vietnam vets to join. But the WWII vets and the Vietnam vets hate each other, and when Hank tries to bring them together, he and Cotton wind up getting pursued by kill-crazy Vietnam veterans who are having flashbacks. Meanwhile, Dale gets a falcon that keeps attacking Bill.

Peggy takes an online I.Q. test sponsored by the “Intelligence Institute of Texas,” and is declared a genius. When the head of the Institute, Dr. Vayzosa, offers her a chance to get a PhD for only $900, she uses the family savings to pay for it. When Luanne takes the online I.Q. test and also scores as a genius, Peggy realizes that she has been conned, and she comes up with an elaborate sting to get the money back. Hank learns of her plans, and tries to intervene, but is it too late?

Kahn wants Connie to practice classical music so she can become a great concert violinist, but Connie prefers playing bluegrass. Hank and the guys form a band with Connie, the “Dale Gribble Bluegrass Experience,” and go to Branson, Missouri to participate in a contest. But in his desire to win, Hank pushes Connie to practice and takes all the fun out of playing, just like Kahn did.

Peggy stirs up rebellion among female workers at a Renaissance Faire where Hank is trying to land a big account. When she is assigned to be a house cleaning winch, she has a hard time staying in character, and behaving inferior to the men. When she tries to approach the King, he dismisses her, which starts a war that Peggy needs to win.

Peggy nominates Bobby to carry the Olympic torch through Arlen, but it’s Hank who wins the honor—and bungles it.

Bobby adjusts to his breakup with Connie, until an afternoon talking to Bill sends him right back into a depression. Not knowing where to go with this issue, Hank sends him to ladies’ man Boomhauer, for a lesson in picking up on women. When Bobby sees him in action, he loses the respect for the “magic” he has, when he sees him strike out time after time.

Kahn tries to bribe Bobby to break up with Connie. Connie and Bobby decide to pretend to break up so they can get the money. When Connie’s behavior convinces Kahn and Minh that she is depressed without Bobby, they try to push her and Bobby back together. After endless double dates with the parents, they become tired of each other, and decide to break up, to Kahns horror.

Buck Strickland has to build a house for Habitat for Humanity as part of his community service, Hank does all the work. Buck is so pleased that he promotes Hank to manager, but when Hank tells Buck in public that he loves him, he is quickly demoted. Cotton becomes jealous that Hank likes Buck better, and Peggy sets out to repair their broken relationship for a Christmas miracle.

Peggy takes the school Spanish club on a field trip to Mexico. She mistakes a little Mexican girl, Lupe, for one of her students, and takes her back on the bus with her. When she realizes her mistake, she brings Lupe back to Mexico and is arrested for kidnapping. Meanwhile, Hank finds himself the object of a female cop’s affections, who keeps pulling him over for various reasons, in order to spend time with him.

Dale is running for re-election as Gun Club president, but his chances seem to be shot when he accidentally discharges his gun. To give Dale his confidence back, Hank pretends to be “Mr. Big,” answers Dale’s ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine, and assigns Dale to pick up a briefcase. But Dale bungles the job, and nearly gets his friends killed by his opponent at the Gun Club.

The episode opens innocently enough with Bobby’s girlfriend Connie inviting him over to add some spark to her dying slumber party. But after Bobby’s beaten up by a crasher, Hank urges him to enroll in a boxing class at the Y. That class is full, so Bobby enrolls in the next best thing: women’s self-defense. There, he quickly masters the technique of targeting an attacker below the belt.

Bobby passes himself off as a high school student (explaining his height by claiming that he suffers from a kidney condition), and gets caught up in the school’s attempt to get the band No Doubt to play at their prom. Meanwhile, Dale creates the perfect outhouse, the Port-a-Gribble the envy of all the neighbors.