Bobby passes himself off as a high school student (explaining his height by claiming that he suffers from a kidney condition), and gets caught up in the school’s attempt to get the band No Doubt to play at their prom. Meanwhile, Dale creates the perfect outhouse, the Port-a-Gribble the envy of all the neighbors.

While preparing for the big lawn mower races in Durndle, Hank experiences back trouble. When he goes to the doctor, he is told that he has a genetic disorder called Diminished Gluteal Syndrome (DGS), meaning that he has such a small rear end that it puts added stress on his spine. The doctor gives Hank a prosthetic butt to wear, but the shame of it is too much until Peggy gets him to go to a DGS support meeting.

On Nancy’s 40th birthday, the TV station replaces her as the weather girl, with a younger, sexier, ditzier….Luanne. Crushed, and defeated, she cries day and night, looking for a remedy to regain her looks. After she stops crying, she demands a face-lift from Dale. Dale comes up with a scheme to sue the Manitoba Cigarette Company, claiming that the second hand smoke from all of the cigarettes he smoked aged Nancy prematurely. He sues for a low amount, so that they will just pay it, and Dale can pay for the face-lift. Dale starts sweating, when Manitoba chooses to fight the case, and make an example out of Dale for useless lawsuits.

Bobby takes up a new interest in environmental issues, provoked by a new teacher. When the cause rallies to drain the quarry, and rid it of all waste, Hank is dead set against it. Years earlier, while in high school, the gang wrecked Boomhauers car, and pushed it into the quarry, pleading ignorance. Bobby finds out, and lets Boomhauer in on the secret, just before they pull out ‘Ol Betsy’, to his horror.

When Bobby’s runny nose and constant sneezing turn out to be an allergy to dander, he is given some medication, and Hank is told to get rid of Ladybird. Hank is taken aback, trying to find any way around it…so he builds a luxurious new doghouse. During the ‘Grand Opening’ of the house, Ladybird refuses to go in. Hank rethinks his options, and sends Bobby out to live in the house. When he finds that he enjoys living on his own, he finds ways to stay allergic.

With Hank’s encouragement, Luanne signs up for a “born-again virgin” program at the church. This leads Peggy to confess something that Hank doesn’t know: she had already slept with one other man before she married Hank. Luanne meets a 22 year-old “real virgin,” Rhett Vandergraaf, who wants to sleep with Luanne so much that he asks her to marry him, and she accepts. When Peggy objects, Luanne blurts out her secret in front of Hank.

A doctor tells Dale that inhaling dangerous chemicals is affecting his health, and if he doesn’t give up exterminating, he’ll die. Hank gets Dale a new job as a faceless drone at the adhesives company, Stik Tek. But Dale’s experience at killing living things proves invaluable when he is placed in charge of telling people they’re fired. Meanwhile, Joseph and Dale are preparing for a “hatch”.

Hank’s new co-worker is Tammi, a not-too-bright young woman who just moved from Oklahoma. Peggy takes Tammi under her wing and offers to let her stay at the Hill house while she studies to get her GED. Peggy and Hank enjoy Tammi’s company and the cool clothes she buys for them, though they’re concerned that her dates never seem to last more than an hour. But when Alabaster Jones, the baddest pimp in Oklahoma City, comes to bring Tammi back, Hank finally realizes that Tammi is a hooker and that everybody thinks he’s her new pimp.

A showbiz veteran gives Bobby his ventriloquist’s dummy, Chip Block. Bobby starts doing routines about Chip’s love of sports, and Hank seems to like Chip’s personality better than Bobby’s. Meanwhile, Dale, who was scared at a young age by a doll based on Chip, schemes to destroy the dummy.

The guys go to Austin for Bill’s birthday. At the hotel, they decide to have some fun by mooning people through the glass elevator, and Hank accidentally moons the former governor of Texas, Ann Richards. Richards takes a liking to Bill, and they start dating. Bill’s new relationship is threatened when his ex-wife, Lenore, shows up and seems to be interested in him again.

Meanwhile, Peggy and Bobby discover that they like charcoal-grilled burgers better than burgers cooked with propane, and they try to hide their charcoal addiction from Hank. When Hank finds a lone briquette under their stove, he demands some answers, and a choice.

Hank discovers that he is not a native Texan: he was actually born in New York City, when Cotton took his wife there as part of a plot to kill Fidel Castro. When Hank confronts his father about this, Cotton offers to help Hank become a “real Texan.” But it turns out that Cotton is just making Hank the fall guy for yet another Castro-killing scheme.

Hank’s friends all make fun of him when he cries at a “chick flick” called The Flowers of Time. Peggy thinks Hank was crying because the movie reminded him of his relationship with Bobby. It turns out that Hank was really crying because his beloved truck is breaking down and can’t be fixed. In an effort to salvage her, Hank goes to extremes, but the inevitable is just around the corner.

Bill decides to create his own Santa’s workshop at home and spread the Christmas cheer to all of Arlen’s underprivileged youth. He enjoys it so much that he tries to keep the Santa act going even after Christmas is over. When that doesn’t work, he takes in a local juvenile delinquent, Wally, who takes advantage of Bill’s good nature.

Bobby is chosen to be the mascot for Tom Landry Middle School. When he informs Hank and friends of the news, they tell him about a tradition where the rival school’s band beats up Arlen’s mascot when Arlen is ahead. When Arlen takes the lead in the game, Bobby runs away, disgracing the whole school. He enlists Dale’s help in trying to regain his reputation by kidnapping the mascot of another school.

Cotton can’t support his wife and baby on his pension, so he moves from Houston to the Arlen VFW. Hank gets him a job at a local restaurant, but the manager won’t let Cotton have a day off to march in the Veterans’ Day parade. Meanwhile, Peggy tries to create an eye-catching float for the parade.

Peggy gets her big break when she is assigned to teach geometry at the high school. But she gets in trouble with everyone from her fellow teachers to the local Booster Club when she flunks Arlen High’s star football player, David Kalaiki-Alii, the Flyin’ Hawaiian.

When John Redcorn comes to Bobby and Joseph’s class and tells them about the way his people were treated by the white man, Joseph doesn’t care, but Bobby is so horrified that he decides to boycott Thanksgiving. At Hank’s Thanksgiving party, Bobby stages a tribute to the heritage of John Redcorn’s tribe… including their history of cannibalism. Meanwhile, Luanne tells Peggy that everyone hates her annual Boggle tournament, so Peggy invents a new game, “Spin the Choice.”

With Bobby’s 13th birthday approaching, Joseph comes back from summer vacation having grown six inches. Bobby is upset that everyone still treats him like a little kid, and Joseph is being driven crazy by the onset of puberty. Meanwhile, Hank tries to build coffins for himself and Peggy.

Bobby gets a job as Buck Strickland’s caddy. He and Buck hit it off, and Bobby starts imitating Buck and defying his father. Things come to a head when Buck takes Bobby to Hot Springs, Arkansas on a gambling jaunt, and Hank goes after them. Meanwhile, Peggy and Minh get into a heated competition over who can donate the most blood.

Appalled that Luanne is unprepared to vote, Hank takes the family to the local fair where she can meet the political candidates. Hank is further appalled to find that Luanne has decided to vote Communist because the candidate is handsome. Bobby saves the life of a drowning pig at the fair and is invited to meet Texas Governor (and presidential candidate) George W. Bush. Hank, staunchly pro-Bush, takes Luanne to the rally where she falls for Bush. Unfortunately, Bush’s wet, limp, awful handshake leaves Hank shocked and disappointed.

When the Hills go to the Country Music Fan Fair in Nashville, Peggy hears Randy Travis singing a new song, “Just the Way God Made Me,” and accuses him of having stolen it from her.

Peggy feels ashamed of her big feet until she meets Grant Trimble, who tells her that her feet are beautiful and even videotapes them. Soon Peggy’s big feet are a hit on an internet fetish site, peggysfeet.com.

During a drought, Hank installs low-flow toilets in his house. But he soon finds that they require so many flushes that they actually waste more water than the old toilets. Hank joins the Arlen zoning board in an attempt to get high-flow toilets legalized again.

Nancy and Dale go to a romantic restaurant and fall in love all over again. Nancy decides to end her affair with John Redcorn and be faithful to her husband. But she soon starts to wonder whether she made the right decision.

Hank finally starts to like Bobby’s comedy career when Bobby starts entertaining the employees at Strickland Propane with propane-related comedy.

Hank’s long time barber goes senile, so he turns to Bill, an army barber, for his haircuts. Bill gives him a great haircut, but it turns out that the bill for an army haircut comes to $900. When Hank protests this waste, the army base shuts down its barber unit, and Bill is out of a job.

A group of Buddhist monks suspects that Bobby might be the reincarnation of the Lama Sanglug. Bobby enjoys getting caught up in Buddhism, until he and Connie learn that Lamas are not allowed to have girlfriends.

Peggy gets caught up in a pyramid scheme, selling Metalife health bars. When she discovers that Bill has a talent for selling the product, she enlists his help. To keep him working for her, she realizes that she has to be mean to him, because being treated badly is the only thing Bill knows how to respond to. Despite all of the recognition that she gets, it isn’t worth belittling a friend.

Frustrated with having to obey Hank’s house rules, Luanne moves out and rents a house across the street with three other college students. In trying to get her selfish housemates to help out and pay the bills, she finds herself becoming more like Hank.

Bobby accidentally sees Luanne naked, Joseph becomes obsessed with getting a peek as well. When Connie catches Bobby and Joseph standing outside holding binoculars, she accuses them of peeping at her. Meanwhile, Boomhauer accidentally gets committed to a mental institution, and when Dale and Bill try to get him out, they get committed too.

Debbie is found dead in the dumpster behind Sugarfoot’s restaurant, and Hank is a suspect. Hank was with Debbie’s roommate Gayle at the time, but he’s afraid to tell the police, because he’d have to admit that he accidentally smoked some of Gayle’s marijuana. Buck decides that he loves his wife after all.

Buck Strickland’s wife Miz Liz catches him at a company dinner with his mistress Debbie, and files for divorce. She takes over Strickland Propane, and promotes Hank to Manager. Hank finds himself fending off her

advances, when she decides that an affair is the answer. Debbie, who is attracted to men with power, also starts to try and seduce Hank. Meanwhile, Peggy takes over Buck’s barbecue joint, Sugarfoot’s, and turns it into a standardized restaurant.

The rodeo comes to town, and Joseph finds his calling, becomes a successful young cowboy star. Bobby also falls in love with the rodeo, and joins in the fun…as a clown. He doesn’t tell Hank, until he is called upon to save Joseph, who had turned on Bobby, calling him the joke of the rodeo.

Bobby gets an F in English, from a former colleague of Peggy’s. So she helps him write a new essay, and winds up writing the whole thing. The essay gets an A, and Bobby gets the credit, making Peggy jealous. Meanwhile, Bill brings home a huge American flag from the army base.

As the year 2000 approaches, Hank becomes a believer in the Y2K bug. He tries to prepare for the millennium by eliminating modern technology, and instead of buying Peggy the new computer she wanted, he gets her an old grandfather clock. Strickland Propane closes its doors in the midst of the panic, leaving customers lined up at the door, as Hank does the unthinkable, and takes off with the only remaining Propane Tanks.

Bobby adopts a raccoon, Bandit, who bites Ladybird and Dale and then runs off, pursued by Ladybird. Fearing that Bandit might have been rabid, Hank tries to save his dog, while Bobby just wants to find Bandit. Meanwhile, Dale, convinced that he has rabies, runs off to the woods and starts living on mushrooms, which give him hallucinations.

Hank meets a man, Hal, who is exactly like him in every way and they start to spend time together. He and Hal become great friends, making Dale and Bill jealous. Hank is torn between the friendships, when the group doesn’t mesh.

Hank and his family plan to visit Peggy’s family in Montana for Thanksgiving. But their plane is delayed, and when they finally get on the plane, the flight is cancelled when Hank’s Thanksgiving turkey is mistaken for a bomb.

Hank wins an Alamo Beer contest, which gives him the chance to win 1 million dollars. He travels to a football game in New Orleans to try and win Bobby’s college money, amongst other things. Meanwhile, Bill rides along to his aunt’s plantation in Louisiana to visit. He is confronted by three very beautiful cousins each with an agenda to marry the last remaining available Dautrieve, who happens to be Bill.

Kahn and Minh go to Hawaii on a business trip, leaving Connie with the Hills. Minh leaves Peggy with a thick book of hand written instructions, on “How to be a parent”, covering any thing and everything–except Connie’s first period. Hank and Connie are left to figure that problem out on their own.