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Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment – such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing “Neckbelts” and a study finding that “depression hits losers hardest”. This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.
Eighteen-year-old Shira is the youngest daughter of the Mendelman family. She is about to be married off to a promising young man of the same age and background. It is a dream come true, and Shira feels prepared and excited. On Purim, her twenty-eight-year-old sister, Esther, dies while giving birth to her first child, Mordechay. The pain and grief that overwhelm the family postpone Shira’s promised match. Everything changes when a match is proposed to Yochay-Esther’s late husband-to a widow from Belgium. Yochay feels it’s too early, although he realizes that sooner or later he must seriously consider getting married again. When the girls’ mother finds out that Yochay may marry the widow and move to Belgium with her only grandchild, she proposes a match between Shira and the widower. Shira will have to choose between her heart’s wish and her family duty. She will find out that the void which she must choose exists only within her heart.
Locked in a school closet during Halloween 1962, young Frank witnesses the ghost of a young girl and the man who murdered her years ago. Shortly afterward he finds himself stalked by the killer and is soon drawn to an old house where a mysterious Lady In White lives. As he discovers the secret of the woman he soon finds that the killer may be someone close to him.
After Paul D. finds his old slave friend Sethe in Ohio and moves in with her and her daughter Denver, a strange girl comes along by the name of “Beloved”. Sethe and Denver take her in and then strange things start to happen…
Delhi-based Sonia agrees to deliver a package for Vladimir Dragunsky and asks her rather unkempt and debt-ridden fiancé, Tashi Malhotra, to do it for her. Tashi, in turn, asks one of two of his room-mates, Arup. But Arup forgets to do so due to an upset stomach ailment commonly known as ‘Delhi Belly’ as well as his plan to blackmail their landlord, Manish and asks the third roommate Nitin to deliver the package. A gangster, Somayajulu, who was the recipient of this package, starts by brutally questioning Vladimir, and finds out that the package may be in the possession of the trio. While Tashi must deal with his attraction for Journalist Menaka and incur the wrath of her husband, Rajiv, he still has to fully come to terms whether or not he wants to marry Sonia. And the entry of ruthless Somayajulu and his gang seriously jeopardizes any plans Tashi and his friends may have for the future.
When lovelorn Michael arrives in Berlin to return a set of keys to his ex-girlfriend, Gabi, as an excuse to see her again, he finds her apartment empty save for a couple of plumbers making repairs to the central heating. Just as Michael learns from the plumber’s apprentice, Harper, that Gabi has popped out for a while but will return soon, the apprentice is attacked by his boss who has unexpectedly and inexplicably transformed into a raging madman. Together, Michael and Harper manage to bundle the crazed plumber out of the apartment and barricade themselves safely inside. Within minutes, they find themselves trapped in apartment block under siege from a horde of similarly insane people, apparently hungry for human flesh.
A Beverly Hills housewife in the middle of a divorce tries to find focus in her life by taking over her daughter’s Wilderness Girls troop.
In Karakura Town, unidentifiable spirits begin appearing en mases. While attempting to deal with these strange souls, Ichigo Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki meet Senna, a mysterious shinigami who wipes out most of them. Senna refuses to answer any questions, so Ichigo is forced to follow her while Rukia tries to find out what’s going on.
Four best friends, about to graduate from high school, must find a way to raise money to help a family member in need. When one of them discovers her banker father having an affair, the foursome plots to rob his bank during graduation ceremonies. When things don’t go according to plan, they end up learning more about themselves in one day than they ever did in school.
After a powerful billionaire is murdered, his secret adoptive son must race to prove his legitimacy, find his father’s killers and stop them from taking over his financial empire.
George Murray’s fiancée Jane Gardner gets cold feet after accepting his ring, terrorized by her first wedding with Doug, who cheated that very day with their wedding coordinator. After a car crash, George finds himself 10 years in the past, just days before Doug’s day.
On a lush tropical island, working under a secret government charter, Martin Drake has not only grown sprawling acres of giant vegetables, but inadvertently spawned two mammoth reptiles as well. Now they’ve broken free of their enclosures, and Drake has only one option: kill the creatures before word gets back to Washington and they close him down. When Drake’s first team of well-armed mercenaries gets wiped out within hours of setting down in the jungle, he turns to one lone hunter, The Cajun, to go in single-handedly. But will The Cajun be cunning enough to find the creatures and destroy them before they turn the blue waters red with the blood of tourists. The only hope is to bring the monsters together and make them fight. When one emerges victorious, that will be the time to strike and kill the other. It’s a risky plan, but ultimately the only one that may work. One of David Carradine’s last movies.
The true story of the British explorer Robert Falcon Scott and his ill-fated expedition to try to be the first man to discover the South Pole – only to find that the murderously cold weather and a rival team of Norwegian explorers conspire against him
Cassie Nightingale (Bell) finds herself with only days to plan her stepson Brandon’s (Knight) wedding to Tara (Leggat) when the happy couple unexpectedly pushes up the date for their big day. Meanwhile, Martha (Disher), the newly elected mayor of Middleton has roped her into chairing the silent auction to raise much-needed funds for her pet project, the Middleton Botanical Gardens. Audrey (Wilson), a new arrival in town, pops in to Cassie’s store Bell, Book & Candle and the two instantly bond. Needing help in the store, Cassie immediately hires Audrey as her new store associate and she even pitches in and helps Cassie organize the auction. But, Audrey is hiding a secret past and suspicions start to swirl around her when the donated auction items are missing. With the use of her “special” powers – as well as some teamwork by the Mayor and Jake (Potter), her husband and local Chief of Police – Cassie hopes to conjure up the truth before it’s too late.
Shortly after the Royal Family adopts a young girl named Alise, she is taken away into the forest. Princess Odette, Derek and their woodland friends, must work together to find a way to bring her home to the castle.
The life you love may be your own…. The wife of a much older man finds herself attracted to their neighbour’s son, who is closer to her age.
Sean King moves his successful internet start-up back to L.A. to find a life he left behind. When the conversation with his brother and best friends, Ryan, Angela, and Anthony leads to remembering your ‘first time’, Angela suggests that the guys revisit the women they lost their virginity, saying they may have a different version of that historic night. A re-booty call! What could possibly go wrong?
A retelling of Dragon Ball’s origin with a different take on the meeting of Goku, Bulma, and Kame-Sen’nin. It also retells the Red Ribbon Army story; but this time they find Goku rather than Goku finding them.
A fidgety, wisecracking video store clerk develops a fixation on a particularly reclusive customer, a frequent visitor to the pornography section of Cinefile, the video store where he works in Los Angeles. After multiple failures to impress her during their brief daily transactions, he finds her street address in the store’s database, drives to her apartment building and initiates an unconventional campaign to win her affections.
Yorkshire, 1978. A mother, father and their three year old son are brutally stabbed to death while they sleep. There is no motive. They were a model family. The nation is outraged by the senseless killings. Incredibly, the British public are overwhelmingly in favour of bringing back the death penalty to see justice carried out. Even more incredibly the killer, who is caught red-handed trying to drag the father’s body out of the house, manages to hide the three year old’s body in a place where the investigators, the police and even their dog teams would never find it. For months all the nation can talk about is the “Kid Killer” but, and this is the most incredible fact of all, not because he cold-bloodedly stabbed to death a three year old, his mother and his father, but because these innocent victims were also his family. The “Kid Killer” was their twelve year old son William.
Albany, New York, Halloween, 1938. Francis Phelan and Helen Archer are bums, back in their birth city. She was a singer on the radio, he a major league pitcher. Death surrounds them: she’s sick, a pal has cancer, he digs graves at the cemetery and visits the grave of his infant son whom he dropped; visions of his past haunt him, including ghosts of two men he killed. That night, out drinking, Helen tries to sing at a bar. Next day, Fran visits his wife and children and meets a grandson. He could stay, but decides it’s not for him. Helen gets their things out of storage and finds a hotel. Amidst their mistakes and dereliction, the film explores their code of fairness and loyalty.
Ambitious psych major Molly White is on top of the world as she preps for her grad program entry exams. After celebrating with boyfriend Brady, Molly finds her roommate Emma crying after an incident she had with her boyfriend Adam. The next morning, Molly is shocked to learn that Emma jumped from the roof late that night, leaving a suicide note behind. Refusing to believe that Emma would do such a thing, Molly starts having haunting dreams over Emma’s death. Driven to uncover the truth about what happened to Emma, Molly begins to search for answers positioning herself in harm’s way.
A recently married scholar goes on a quest for knowledge of other people’s wives, based on his philosophical differences with the Sack Monk. He encounters the Flying Thief, who agrees to help him find women, but only if he attains a penis as big as a horse’s. The scholar has a surgeon attach said unit, and he’s off and running on his mission, only to find that there are obstacles to his new lifestyle, such as jealous husbands and treacherous females.
A young woman named Future (Macy Wu) is sent from the year 2046 to the year 2011 in Hong Kong. Future was sent by the United Nations in order to get pregnant, where she can then extract her genes and repopulate the earth as 99% of males have become infertile in the future due to attacks from Planet Xucker. Two assassins from Xuckler (Taka Kato and Ya-wen Hseh) are sent after her to stop her. Future meets three University students: Felix (Justin Cheung), Dan-san (Andrew Kwok) and Sing (Tsui Ho-cheong). The men are obsessed with female students next door: Chin-chin (Akiho Yoshizawa), Chen-chen (Monna Lam and Sai-sai (Chen Chih-ying). The students agree to help Future find a mate at the university.
The Wrecker wrecks trains on the L & R Railroad. One of his victims is Larry Baker’s father. Baker wants to find the evildoer, among a host of suspects, but it will be difficult since the Wrecker can disguise himself to look like almost anyone
A distraught college student finds a phone that enables her to talk to her deceased mother in the past. Instead of a heart attack, she learns that her mother was murdered. She tries to use the phone to stop the murder from occurring before the killer finds and kills her too.
A woman down on her luck stumbles into a bar run my a local meth dealer and finds herself accepting an offer that will change her life for the worse.
People everywhere were enjoying a new game called Ordinal Scale, an ARMMORPG developed exclusively for the Augma, a new wearable console designed for AR (augmented reality) gaming. But, the players had no idea that a nightmare from the virtual world was starting to spread into reality! As his fellow players find themselves in danger, the hero is called upon once again.
A couples’ trip to Pattaya turns into hell when each others’ secrets come out into the open! Soo-jeong and Tae-hyeon decide to go abroad with Sang-jin and Ji-hyeon to celebrate Ji-hyeon’s birthday. However, Ji-hyeon can’t make it last minute and the three set off. However the local tour guide tricks them into losing everything they’ve got. Then they meet Lizzie, who Sang-jin falls for right away. They cross the line and Soo-jeong who secretly had a crush on Sang-jin, films them quietly. She then threatens Sang-jin to tell Ji-hyeon with the video of their affair and demands he takes her in. Tae-hyeon finds out about everything and the dreamy vacation turns into hell…
Riley, a cryptozoology fanatic, and her Sister Rebecca want to increase the popularity of their conspiracy channel. They decide to hire a local controversial hunter to aid them in the search of a supposed werewolf roaming the forest of their little town. They find the secret of the Panteon Woods but never return.
When Carlton Layton arrives home to find his wife in the arms of another man, he dons the outfit he wears as a children’s entertainer and slaughters them both, fleeing into the night. Five years later, Carley Lewis is asked to babysit on Halloween night whilst the child’s parents go out to a party. But someone wants the child. Someone we know only as “The Cleaver”.
Best friends Samantha and Kristina go their separate ways for the first time when Kristina gets into the hottest sorority on campus. But Kristina realizes this is just the beginning, and her life becomes a nightmare when Kristina is murdered and Samantha finds herself as a potential next target.
Four teenagers on a road trip decide to take a detour and find them selves at at haunted house halloween scream park deep in the woods of southern Kentucky. After witnessing an assortment of torture and gore. they start wondering if what they are experiencing is not a little too realistic. Before they know it each one of hem is captured and made part of the horrific attraction they originally thought was all fun and games.
How does a traumatic event shape a family? How do you sift through the memories to find hidden clues and unlock a collective grief? Kingdom of Us takes a look at a mother and her seven children, whose father’s suicide left them in financial ruin. Through home movies and raw moments, the Shanks family travels the rocky road towards hope.
Rachel and Anna return home two years after their mother’s death, and find the town abandoned with their house left in disgusting disarray. When Rachel begins hallucinating about their dead mother and some ancient artifact, terrifying clues begin falling into place surrounding their family’s past.
