Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment – such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing “Neckbelts” and a study finding that “depression hits losers hardest”. This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.
You May Also Like
Rio de Janeiro, 1886. A precious Stradivarius violin presented to Emperor Dom Pedro II is stolen. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are called to solve the case.
In this musical comedy, Valerie is dealing with her philandering fiancé, Ted, when she finds that a trio of aliens have crashed their spaceship into her swimming pool. Once the furry beings are shaved at her girlfriend’s salon, the women discover three handsome men underneath. After absorbing the native culture via television, the spacemen are ready to hit the dating scene in 1980s Los Angeles.
James, a college freshman and computer genius, is enlisted by his womanizing roommate, Lance, to code the ultimate hook-up app. But when James discovers that his divorced mother is using the app, unexpected consequences ensue.
When Bikini Bottom is scooped from the ocean, scientific squirrel Sandy Cheeks and her pal SpongeBob SquarePants saddle up for Texas to save their town.
A television producer with a penchant for drinking and gambling is sent to Las Vegas to convince his troubled niece to enter rehab.
Simone, a clumsy financier, falls in love with Claudia, who’s living on her grandma’s retirement checks. When the old lady dies Claudia hides the body in a freezer, and sets up a fraud with the help of some friends to avoid bankruptcy.
Evicted from his apartment, James has to move in with his girlfriend of 3 months. He quickly discovers that she’s everything he never wanted in a woman. His only option is to get her to break up with him — but still let him sleep on the couch.
Vada Sultenfuss is obsessed with death. Her mother is dead, and her father runs a funeral parlor. She is also in love with her English teacher, and joins a poetry class over the summer just to impress him. Thomas J., her best friend, is “allergic to everything”, and sticks with Vada despite her hangups. When Vada’s father hires Shelly, and begins to fall for her, things take a turn to the worse…
Kate is a young woman subscribed to bad decisions. Her last date with disaster? That of having accepted to work as Santa’s elf for a department store. However, she meets Tom there. Her life takes a new turn. For Kate, it seems too good to be true.
Elfette has to save the day when Santa Claus is kidnapped by the mafia, who try to take over Christmas.
Lance Reed is forced by a psychotic stranger to confront his duplicitous past. Seeking retribution for a crime, the man forces Lance to reveal his inner most secrets by systematically removing his limbs.
They used to run the country. Now they’re running for their lives! Two on-the-lam former Presidents of the United States. Framed in a scandal by the current President and pursued by armed agents, the two squabbling political foes plunge into a desperately frantic search for the evidence that will establish their innocence.