Don Sallust is the minister of the King of Spain. Being disingenuous, hypocritical, greedy and collecting the taxes for himself, he is hated by the people he oppresses. Accused by The Queen, a beautiful princess Bavarian, of having an illegitimate child to one of her maids of honor, he was stripped of his duties and ordered to retire to a monastery.
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Philip “HAWK” Hawkins doesn’t just dream about killing vampires – He eats, sleeps, drinks and freakin’ breaths it. After getting kicked out the Army for staking a fellow soldier with a blunt two by four, Hawk almost dies of boredom working as a night security guard at a deserted warehouse in his hometown of Santa Muerte, California – USA. Just when it looks like all Hawk’s options in life have expired – Filthy blood-sucking vampires appear. And of course – Nobody even freakin’ believes him. With his back up against the wall, his sweaty Karate Kid headband on and hordes of blood-thirsty murderous vampires closing in, Hawk enlists the help of the one person who kind of believes him – Revson “REV” McCabe, a dimwitted, vegan-pacifist groundskeeper. Together they join forces to save the whole entire freakin’ world. Well – At least their hometown anyway.
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A city where suicide is the only growing business. A shop where you can get everything to cater this urge. In the hand of one family for centuries.. till they get a happy baby. And he has to power to make all around him happy as well.