Eloise, having been relieved of maid of honor duties after being unceremoniously dumped by the best man via text, decides to attend the wedding anyway – only to find herself seated with five fellow-unwanted guests at the dreaded Table 19.

Love Actually… Sucks! was inspired by real-life events, and opens with a dramatic wedding feast. It tells a variety of stories about love that has gone wrong: a brother and sister in an illicit relationship, a married painter who falls in love with his young male life model, a dance school teacher who is besotted with his senior student, and a lesbian couple, one of whom has role-play paranoia, and is caught in a complex love triangle. The film celebrates the belief that life is love.

Soon to be a father, Mark feels the pressure of domestic responsibility closing in, so he is more than happy to accept when his old friend Kurt proposes a camping trip in the Oregon wilderness. During their time together, the men come to grips with the changes in their lives and the effect on their relationship.

Ernest (Stick) Stickley just out of prison agrees to help a friend deliver a package. It’s a setup and his friend is killed. Stick is going to find out why!

Four pianists take part in the preliminary round of an international piano playing competition. Each has a story that is different and unique. One is a former child prodigy who stopped playing when her mother died. One is a Julliard student. One is a new face and yet comes recommended.

Jen is living alone in a half-empty house, struggling with depression and how to deal with the hand life has dealt her. A freak accident has her locked in the basement as a major thunderstorm begins flooding the house.

A pampered young model is killed in a traffic accident. Given the chance to return to earth, she becomes involved with the advertising executive who is trying to cover up her death. A blend of fantasy and trenchant realism in which Somai uses the ethereal glow of advertising images to comment on the transience of life.

During the Battle of the Bulge, an anachronistic count shelters a ragtag squad of Americans in his isolated castle hoping they will defend it against the advancing Germans.

The first episode – featuring frequent Borowczyk muse Marina Pierro – is the longest and, in a way, most substantial: it’s set in Renaissance Rome, with the lusty (and perpetually nude) leading lady sexually involved with famous painters and church benefactors. The second episode is the most notorious and, consequently, gave the film its controversial poster – featuring a rabbit slowly disappearing under the skirt of a teenage girl (played by Gaelle Legrand). The third and final episode, which has a modern-day setting, is the shortest – but also, possibly, the most outrageous: Pascale Christophe is a young married woman who’s abducted on a busy Parisian street by a small-time hood hidden inside a cardboard box!

While Kurdish gigolo Baran dreams of a future in Europe, German pilot Marion is struggling to come to terms with her cancer diagnosis. When the two meet at the Turkish holiday resort of Marmaris, they engage in a kind of double-cross and decide to enter into a sham marriage. After a promising beginning, a shared future seems well within their reach. But things turn out not to be quite as simple as that.

Two cabbies search San Francisco’s Chinatown for a mysterious character who has disappeared with their $4000. Their quest leads them on a humorous, if mundane, journey which illuminates the many problems experienced by Chinese-Americans trying to assimilate into contemporary American society.

In a small village under the shadow of a nuclear power station, a toxic family with a past which must face the ghosts that threaten their future.