The doorman in Mr. Pitt’s building, cause’s trouble for Jerry who was only trying to be nice. Kramer robs George on the street for some German tourists. George’s father is living with him and when he removes his shirt, George and Kramer see that he has breasts. So, Kramer develops a new undergarment for males (“The Bro” or “The Manssiere”) that will alleviate this problem. Jerry offers his soiled couch to replace the one that was stolen while he was “on duty.”

Elaine’s friend, a physical therapist, whom Jerry must “kiss hello,” has an old style hairdo, that Jerry and Elaine want Kramer to comment on. Jerry’s grandmother wants him to open a ketchup bottle and she tells a story about some money that Uncle Leo was supposed to give his sister. Jerry’s father is anxious to collect the money and interest Leo owes. Kramer puts tenant pictures up in the lobby and soon Jerry is giving every woman in the building, the “kiss hello”; however, when he stops, he becomes unpopular. George gets his arm looked at, misses a follow up appointment and must pay for that visit. The therapist skips out on her patients, including George, and goes skiing with Elaine. After their trip, she drops Elaine off 3 blocks from her apartment. Elaine injures her shoulder carrying her equipment home, and can’t get any complementary treatment. Jerry gets proof of his uncle’s dishonesty.

Elaine tries to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. George, who’s now wearing his toupee, discovers that the woman Kramer has set him up with, is bald. Kramer gives a homeless man some Chinese food and begins standing in police lineups for $50 a lineup. Jerry begins to date a cop, but she wants him to take a lie detector test, she thinks he is lying about NOT watching Melrose Place.

Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a “show about nothing.”

Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a “show about nothing.”

George meets an old friend who’s spent the last few months undergoing chemotherapy, that everyone knew except him. Kramer calls a litterbug “a pig” near a cop who’s on a quest to catch a longtime parking ticket scofflaw. Kramer wanting to change his image, asks Elaine where her old boyfriend got his glasses. He goes to see him at a book signing and says hi for Elaine, that means that she has lost the “upper hand” in their breakup, so she confronts him and then gets even by getting a copy of his glasses. George finds out from Gary, that he lied about his cancer and has been taking advantage of Jerry’s kindness. Kramer discovers the identity of “the scofflaw.” George gets a toupee.

Elaine and Jerry are suspicious of a friend’s gift, when a gift Elaine gave him, a label maker, is given to Jerry in return for some Superbowl tickets Jerry has but can’t use because “The Drake” is getting married on Superbowl Sunday and he is in the wedding party. George convinces his girlfriend to get her male roommate to move out, that he soon regrets. Kramer takes playing a game of Risk against Newman seriously. The Superbowl tickets pass through several hands and Jerry sees the game with his worst nightmare.

Elaine lets a potential employer borrow Mr. Pitt’s tennis racket, but the injury suffered may ruin her chances, especially when she must get his racket back. Jerry’s girlfriend never laughs, but he meets her roommate who does, so Jerry decides he would like to make “the switch.” George’s model girlfriend may be bulimic. He needs proof, so he meets Kramer’s mother, who’s a bathroom matron. While there he finds out Kramer’s first name, Cosmo. Kramer decides it is time to be himself and begins to use his first name. George has the perfect plan for “the switch,” a menage a trois.

Through his current girlfriend, Lois, Jerry meets an old rival, who suspects that he cheated in a high school race and he wants a rematch with Jerry to prove he was faster. Elaine is put on a “blacklist” for Chinese food delivery and finds out her boyfriend is a Communist. George responds to a personal ad in a Communist newspaper while at work, when Steinbrenner hears about it, he wants to see George in his office. Through his friend Mickey, Kramer becomes a department store Santa, who later spouts out Communist propaganda.

Jerry confronts his dry cleaner, whom he spotted wearing a jacket that he brought in for cleaning. George passes over hiring an attractive secretary for a less attractive one, he thinks he’ll be able to get some work done; however, the secretary’s efficiency turns him on, so he gets her a raise and then she makes more than he does. Kramer gets Uma Thurman’s phone number and sells Bania his suit at a women’s clothing store then he hides in a dressing room until he can get some clothing. At this same store, Elaine tries to buy a dress, but is unsatisfied with the size of the mirrors in the store.

A salesman convinces George to buy a convertible once owned by “Jon Voight.” Kramer tries to save a small shoe-repair business, but his good intentions affect Jerry in a big way. Elaine wins tickets for Mr. Pitt, who’s always wanted to participate in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Elaine brings over a man she met in England and he turns out to be a real bounder. Jerry accepts an Armani suit from an obnoxious comedian, the only condition, he must treat him to a meal at a restaurant; however, what makes up a meal. George goes for a walk with a waitress from Monk’s and manure in the path sums up his relationship with her. After his kidney stone, Kramer decides to eat only fresh foods.

George and Kramer convince Jerry he’ll be missing out on something if he stops dating a Romanian Olympic gymnast. Jerry and Kramer find out about one of George’s bathroom habits. Kramer must pass a kidney stone. The mother of George’s girlfriend sees him eat something out of a trash bin, later cleaning a windshield & one of his bathroom habits. Elaine’s boss becomes obsessed with finding the image in a 3-D painting, so he sends her to represent him in a huge merger deal.

Elaine begins to date the guy who delivers Jerry’s new couch. Kramer plans to start the pizza business he thought of back in “Male Unbonding” with Poppie. George joins a book club, but tries to rent the movie so he can bluff his way through the meeting. Jerry and Elaine’s discussion of the abortion issue causes trouble for Poppie, Elaine’s relationship & Jerry’s new couch. George spends the evening with the family that has rented the film.

Jerry and Elaine see George’s father with a man with a cape but don’t say hello. Jerry discovers a Chinese woman on George’s phone line after the wires get crossed and he gets a date with her. Kramer gets worried about his sperm count, so he goes to a fertility clinic and then makes a change in his choice of undergarments. Elaine ruins her friend Noreen’s latest romance with a long talker. The Chinese woman turns out to be Jewish and from Long Island. Estelle gets advice about her relationship with Frank from the Chinese woman, but discounts it when she meets her. George’s life is made miserable when his parent’s separate.

Jerry comments that a friend was hitting on him and Elaine tries to find out if what was true, but gets the voice of the woman and her current boyfriend confused. Elaine’s boss eats his Snickers bar with a knife and fork and idea that soon catches on. George thinks a waitress gave him the finger. Jerry gets caught throwing away a thank you card. Jerry cashes some old birthday checks from his grandmother. Jerry’s working a PBS pledge drive and gets George to bring a Yankee to appear with him, while en-route to the studio, someone gives George the finger.

Elaine’s boss wants a special mechanical pencil, so Elaine tries to get one from a stationary store where the clerk has a thing for her. George and his girlfriend pick up a “big salad” for Elaine, that his girlfriend gives to Elaine and she thanks her. Later, George points out that he bought the “big salad.” Jerry discovers that his current girlfriend once dated Newman, who broke off his relationship with her. Kramer plays golf with an ex-ball player who breaks a rule of golf, they have a fight, and later the ball player is wanted for questioning in the murder of a dry cleaner, where a golf tee was involved. Kramer later helps him evade the police in a white Ford Bronco.

Jerry gets a date with Miss Rhode Island, a Miss America contestant; when they need a chaperone Kramer is available. On the date, Kramer gives her advice and becomes her personal coach. Elaine tries to get a job at Doubleday, filling in the shoes once filled by Jackie Onassis; instead she gets a job being the personal assistant of a top executive who likes white socks. Meanwhile, George decides that the Yankees need to change their uniforms from polyester to cotton.

George comes to the realization that he should try to do the opposite of everything, so he does, his luck changes and everything begins to go his way including getting a girlfriend, a job with the Yankees and moving out of his parents’ house. Things begin to be unlucky for Elaine after she buys a box of “Jujyfruits.” Kramer appears on Regis & Kathie Lee to promote his coffee table book. Rachel wants to break up with Jerry and he readily agrees, because his luck has been “even Steven.” Elaine’s eating of “Jujyfruits” causes Pendant Publishing to go under, and later she realizes that she and George have traded places.

Everyone makes a trip to the Hamptons to “see the baby” and enjoy the weekend. George’s girlfriend goes topless and everyone sees her chest before he does. “The baby” is the most hideous thing they’ve ever seen. Elaine is confused when a handsome doctor refers to her as “breathtaking” – the same term he later uses to describe the baby. Kramer finds a filled lobster trap. Jerry’s girlfriend sees George naked, after he’s just gotten out of the pool, so something isn’t as it should be.

Kramer is dating one of Elaine’s co-workers, a woman who drives her crazy. Kramer brings her to one of Jerry’s shows, where she heckles him relentlessly; unfortunately there is a national magazine critic in the audience. George panics when there is a fire at his girlfriend’s apartment, during her son’s birthday party. Jerry decides to get revenge by heckling the woman where she works. She runs out of the office onto the street and loses her pinkie toe. Kramer finds the toe, takes a bus to the hospital and saves the passengers from a gunman. Inspired by Kramer’s tale, George tries to confront his feelings of cowardice.

Jerry and his girlfriend get some time alone with each other at a movie, Schindler’s List, they don’t see it; however, Newman sees it and them. A delay in the shipment of the raincoats will make the Seinfelds miss their flight to France, George uses this as an opportunity to get his “little” brother back to his father. The Seinfelds manage to avoid meeting the Costanzas in New York City.

Jerry’s parents are staying with him while they wait to take their trip to Paris and he’s just returned from three weeks on the road can’t get anytime alone with his girlfriend. George tries to get out of the big brother program, just after he gets talked into it. The Seinfelds avoid the Costanza’s dinner invitation. Elaine’s latest boyfriend, who’s a “close talker,” becomes unusually fixated on Jerry’s parents and shows them New York City. Kramer makes a deal with Jerry’s father to sell belt-less raincoats to a secondhand shop and George sells his father’s moth-ridden cabana style clothing, right before they plan a cruise.

A girlfriend poses as Jerry’s wife so she can get a dry cleaning discount. George uses the shower at the health club as a bathroom and is afraid of being turned in after being seen. Elaine is getting mixed signals from a male friend who may be interested. Kramer’s getting ready to impress his girlfriend’s parents.

Kramer talks his stand-in friend, a “little person”, into getting lifts to keep his job. Jerry visits a sick friend, who’s in need of a good laugh, at the hospital. George and his latest girlfriend have nothing to say to each other, he wants to break up, but won’t when he finds out she is being urged to break it off. One of Jerry’s friends “takes it out” while on his first date with Elaine. Jerry’s friend takes a turn for the worse after his first visit, so he tries again.

Jerry can’t believe that his girlfriend won’t share a piece of pie with him. There is a mannequin at a store that looks like Elaine and she wants to know where it came from. George is interested in a suit that he makes an enemy over. Kramer has an itch. George’s new suit makes a noise.

Jerry meets an old college classmate who asked about George, whom Jerry says is now a “marine biologist.” An infuriated Russian writer tosses an electronic organizer belonging to Elaine out of a limousine that hits a passerby on the head. Kramer struggles with his golf swing and sand. While walking along the beach, George is called on to use his marine biology skills to save a whale.

The gang struggles to find gifts for a dinner party. Jerry and Elaine stop at a bakery to get a cake, but they forget to take a number and lose the chocolate pastry and the one they get has a hair on it. Kramer and George try to get the wine but must get change for a $100 dollar bill and wait for a double-parker to return to his car.

While in a bathroom stall, Elaine needs some toilet paper, but the woman in the next stall refuses to give her a piece. The woman is Jerry’s girlfriend whose voice Kramer recognizes from a telephone sex line. Elaine’s boyfriend, whose face she just loves, takes George & Kramer rock climbing. After his accident, Elaine isn’t sure his face will be the same.

George changes his religion to Latvian Orthodox to keep his girlfriend who must break up with him for religious reasons. Jerry finds a tube of fungus cream in his girlfriend’s medicine cabinet and fakes an illness until he can figure out what the cream is used for. He asks Elaine to ask her current boyfriend who’s a podiatrist. Kramer meets a sister at George’s new church who becomes infatuated with him.

Jerry helps George out with a coffee table stain and makes Elaine take the subway home and gives her Mr. Costanza’s TV Guide to read. While on the train, Elaine meets a strange man obsessed with television. George meets a woman at a refinishing store who he brings back to his parent’s home and passes it off as his. A female Native American that he is interested in thinks Jerry is racially insensitive when he presents Elaine with a cigar-store Indian as a peace offering. George gets grounded when his parents return from vacation and find a prophylactic wrapper in their bed and a missing TV Guide. Kramer has an idea for a coffee table book on coffee tables that Elaine doesn’t like but Mr. Lippman does.

Elaine meets a man who’s perfect except his name is the same as a notorious serial killer. Jerry is frustrated when he can’t get his girlfriend, who’s a masseuse, to give him a massage, even Kramer is a customer. George is obsessed when Jerry’s girlfriend doesn’t like him, so he tries extra hard to get her to like him, much to his own girlfriend’s dismay.

George is uncertain about whether his job interview was successful or not, so he decides to go into the office and act like an employee while the boss is on vacation. Jerry is reluctant to dump his old barber even when he is given a real bad haircut. Kramer arranges to get him a clandestine haircut at the apartment of his barber. Newman is charged by Jerry’s barber to get a sample of Jerry’s hair when he suspects foul play.

When they begin to gain weight, Jerry and Elaine suspect that Kramer has made a bad investment in a non-fat yogurt shop. Jerry inadvertently uses the “F” word, as a result so does Meredith’s son Matthew, a lot. George meets an old childhood friend whom he is convinced is trying to humiliate him. Elaine begins dating this friend and gives him an idea for his mayoral candidate’s campaign. Kramer’s date with a lab technician results in strange test results for the future mayor of New York City.

Jerry is smitten with a line judge at the US Open, but after he gets her attention, he finds out she is deaf. Elaine has a problem not communicating with a limo driver. George wants to use Jerry’s girlfriend to read the lips of his ex-girlfriend to find out what she is saying about him. While she is reading the lips, Kramer does the translation, that gets George in more trouble. Kramer becomes a ball man at the Open, when Monica Seles returns to tennis.

George gets a great parking spot that becomes a target. Kramer thinks that he has stumbled on the product of a genetic engineering experiment, a “pig man.” Elaine and Jerry are nervous about the religious duties they must do when they agree to become godparents to a couple’s newborn, including getting the Mohel and holding the baby for the circumcision.

George’s father gets him an interview as a bra salesman. Evidence points to Jerry’s accountant being a drug user. So Jerry, Kramer and Newman set out to find out the truth. Elaine’s new boyfriend is perfect except for his use of an exclamation point.

George’s glasses are stolen and he needs a new pair, so he goes to see Kramer’s friend to get a thirty percent discount; all Elaine gets is bitten by a dog and then she becomes afraid of them. While not wearing his glasses, George thinks he sees Jerry’s girlfriend kissing Jerry’s cousin and Jerry tries to figure out if it’s true.

George is forced to move in with his parents. He gets a job as a hand model and becomes obsessed with keeping his hands safe. Kramer’s girlfriend, who designs clothes and talks with a real low voice, asks Jerry a question that he politely answers yes to. He agrees to wear one of her new puffy pirate shirts on a Today Show appearance he is making.

George tells Jerry about his lack of confidence below “the equator.” Jerry begs Elaine for another chance when he finds out she faked her orgasms. Kramer gets banned from his favorite fruit shop.