George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a “set-up.” Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can’t get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won’t be making it because he’s been stabbed. She is aroused by the situation. Kramer’s cold is getting bad and he’s not going to the doctor, they botched his vasectomy, he’s more potent now than ever. Jerry tries to get Newman to get rid of the mail; however, he’s not interested because he didn’t get the transfer to Hawaii. Kramer finds a dog with a cold that he volunteers to take to the vet, so he can get medicine for their colds. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. She discovers his problem is that he is a “bad breaker upper.” George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. Elaine’s blind date breaks up with her and tells she has “a big head.” From a suggestion by Jerry, George asks for a hearing with the association and tells them the story of his life. Jerry forms “an alliance” with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry tries to get Kramer to take his medication. He discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. The big head comment begins to hold true for Elaine and she makes a comment about jamming “a fork in his forehead.” Jerry tries to take Kramer to a real doctor. After Kramer bites Newman’s ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail. He is too efficient for the post office. Elaine meets up with her blind date and makes good on her promise. Kramer saves the day. George and the survivor don’t get the apartment.

George’s girlfriend has mononucleosis and he can’t have sex with her for six weeks. Elaine’s met a doctor who’s almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry agrees to appear at career day at his former junior high school, first he is bumped and then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar in Monk’s and is asked to leave. He meets others on the street who face his dilemma so he opens up his apartment as a smoking lounge. Jerry’s agent gets him an assembly at the school. George’s lack of sex makes his mind sharper. Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend doesn’t know about medicine. She uses George’s technique to help him study to get his license, but in the process she becomes an idiot. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting advice, speaks Portuguese and prepares a presentation for Jerry’s assembly. Kramer sees his lawyer about a case against the tobacco company, smoking has destroyed his looks. He gets a settlement without Jackie’s input. George calculates the odds of scoring with a Portuguese waitress. Elaine’s boyfriend gets his license and leaves her sexless.

George reveals a strategy to guarantee a second date with women – leaving an object behind at their place. However, this strategy gets Elaine into trouble, when George leaves behind a sable hat she shouldn’t have charged to the Peterman expense account. Meanwhile, the red neon sign of a new Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant beams directly into Kramer’s apartment. Jerry and Kramer then switch apartments, and end up switching personalities as well.

Elaine’s new boyfriend, Brett, is obsessed with designer furniture and the song “Desperado.” Jerry spots an umbrella salesman using the sales technique he invented. The salesman says it was someone else. Hundreds of twelve-cent royalty checks keep arriving from Jerry’s brief appearance on a Japanese television. Kramer warns George that the carpet cleaners he hired are actually a front for a religious cult. Intrigued, George tries to be converted, but they’re not interested. Kramer meets some Japanese businessman and he takes them on the town and to the cleaners. He is a little confused about the exchange rate. Brett delivers a large chest of drawers to Kramer and thinks that Jerry might be jealous. Kramer thinks the TV pilot that Jerry and George did would be perfect for Japanese television. They pitch it to a couple of Japanese TV executives. Elaine tries to find a song that she and Brett can share. Kramer puts his Japanese friends up at his place. They’re sleeping in the chest of drawers. Jerry caught in the rain meets the man in the street that claims credit for the twirl. He also meets Brett who is convinced Jerry is down on his luck. George gets the cleaners to do the offices at Yankee Stadium where they find a new recruit. Because of the humidity from the hot tub, Kramer’s guests get stuck in the chest. Jerry, with writer’s cramp from check signing, uses a fire ax to open the chest. That scares the Japanese guests and injures Brett who passes out.

Jerry is intrigued by the concept of his girlfriend having a mentor. George prepares to give a lecture on risk management by reading a book, but realizes that books on tape have spoiled him. Elaine prepares to fire an employee, but when face to face with him, she promotes him. Kramer runs a Jewish singles night at Frank’s Knights of Columbus hall. Jerry meets his girlfriend’s mentor, but she is dating Kenny Bania. George discovers the blind can get any book on tape, so he plans to fail an eye test. Elaine’s recently promoted employee has some startling new ideas. She plans to promote him again. Kramer’s party plans go awry when he has to cook for over 150 plus people. He needs to get Frank’s advice on cooking for the masses, despite George’s warning. Elaine’s promotional plan backfires, when the rest of her staff quits. Jerry’s girlfriend sees Bania’s act and loses respect for her mentor. Elaine tries working with her employee. George figures out an angle to get his book read. Jerry finds himself becoming Bania’s mentor. Jerry and his now ex-girlfriend get their files mixed up; George speaks on Ovaltine and Bania on risk management. Frank’s cooking skills are reborn, until he sees someone choking.

Elaine has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her; despite her doctor — patient relationship reputation. Kramer offers Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures. Jerry refuses delivery of a package with no return address. George thinks that the photo store clerk has stuck a revealing picture of herself in with his pictures. Kramer convinces George to return the compliment and offers to take the photos. Uncle Leo signs for Jerry’s package. Elaine tries to lift her medical records. Jerry lets Uncle Leo open the package and there is the sound of an explosion. Leo’s stove has exploded but eventually Jerry gets the package and opens it up. It contains his stereo in pieces. Kramer sent the package to him insured; now all they must do is collect the insurance money from the post office. Elaine poses as Uncle Leo’s nurse to try a diagnosis for her condition. When that doesn’t work she tries to get Kramer to lift her records. Newman grills Jerry on suspicion of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store and gets a surprising result.

Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. “Sweet fancy Moses” exclaims George when he sees Elaine dance at a party she’s holding for her employees. She wonders why they’ve lost respect for her. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film. Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine thinks the loss of respect might be due to George’s influence, so she makes him off limits to Anna, one of the women George talked to at the party. That “bad boy” image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry and Kramer attend the film with Brody, who begins to make a bootleg tape. Brody gets sick and has Kramer take him home, leaving Jerry to finish making the tape. Jerry worries about the implications when Brody likes him camera work and asks him to do another film. However, he complains about the quality of Kramer’s work. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Elaine apologizes to Anna and George, which suddenly makes him undesirable. Brody won’t meet Jerry’s demands for equipment; George takes on the challenge, but gets arrested. Frank comes to bail him out and Elaine lets him know the truth about his son. Elaine’s dance becomes a big hit on the streets of New York.

Kramer uses a bathroom in an office building and just begins working there. He is “TCB.” Elaine sets Jerry up with a friend who is very beautiful, but she has “man hands.” George uses a picture of her and passes her off as his dead finance Susan; that gets him into the “Forbidden City” where high priced models hang out. Elaine meets Kevin and some of his friends; they are the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Kramer. With Kramer working, George inside the walls and Elaine hanging out with Kevin, Jerry begins to feel alone.

George thinks the foundation lawyer thinks he might have killed Susan, Jerry suggests using a method employed by Jerry Lewis to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry’s girlfriend and he consults Newman for advice. Elaine’s friends insist that she have a baby, she’d rather not and meets a man who shares her ideals. George leaves a running tape recorder in his brief case at the next board meeting and leaves the room. He returns to find the briefcase damaged and the tape stopped. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry and Kramer’s relationship with Pam; he bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession, Elaine. Meanwhile, her new boyfriend gets a vasectomy to show her how committed he is to not having children. The guys find out Pam isn’t interested in having children and they line up for their own vasectomies. George gets to the bottom of what happened to his briefcase.

Months after her death, George is ready to move on, but Susan’s parents want to keep her memory alive. Kramer becomes a karate master, where his opponents are equals in his skill level, but are lacking in size. Jerry runs into Dolores, you remember “her name rhymed with a female body part” in “The Junior Mint,” she suggests that they get together again. Peterman has a breakdown and goes to Burma leaving Elaine in charge; a position she is reluctant to assume. Kramer makes a speech that inspires Elaine to go and take charge of J. Peterman. Inspired by a comment that Jerry made, a foundation is established in Susan’s name, which will take up all of George’s free time. Jerry and Dolores do get together; however, when she hears why Jerry’s engagement was broken off, she leaves commenting that he still hasn’t matured. Elaine sees Kramer’s opponents, vents her frustration and takes him down in front of the class. Jerry decides to research breakups and the effect on future relationships. Kramer’s classmates meet him after class. George discovers everything he lost when he lost Susan.

As the big day grows nearer, George and Susan order their invitations. Susan lets him choose the cheap ones. George tries to think of a way out. Elaine suggests smoking and Kramer suggests a pre-nuptial agreement. Jerry, thinking of a single future with Kramer, nearly gets hit by a car but is saved by his female equivalent, Jeannie. Jerry thinks he is in love with Jeannie. Kramer tries to cash in on a bank’s offer of a $100 if one of their tellers doesn’t say hello. Is “Hey,” hello? George tries the suggestions and strikes out. Susan begins preparing the invitations. Jerry makes a decision. Susan passes out while licking envelopes. Jerry proposes marriage; later he has second thoughts. George finds Susan and the gang meets him over at the hospital, where George gets the news, he’s out. Free at last, George makes another attempt at Marisa Tomei.

After George makes an off-hand remark to a married couple with a rocky relationship, Jerry and Elaine wait in anticipation of their inevitable separation. Elaine sports a new hairstyle, starts driving again and almost makes Jerry car sick. Kramer starts wearing jeans again. The jeans are much too tight, so tight in fact, that he can’t get them off when he really needs to. Elaine and Jerry make plans to move in on the separated couple, which they do. George feels guilty about breaking up the marriage and wishes to undo the damage. Jerry and Elaine physically oppose this action. David returns the off-hand remark to George in the presence of Susan. She tells George she has to think about some things- he thinks it is his ticket out.

Wilhelm is delighted with the job George did on the project; however, he has no idea what he did or how he did it. The detective on the case thinks he’s found Jerry’s car, damaged beyond recognition. It’s not, and later Jerry’s mechanic calls him from the car. Kramer spots Jerry’s car in Ohio. Steinbrenner calls George into his office about the project report and has him committed. Kramer ditches the cans, bottles, mailbags and Newman in pursuit of Jerry’s car. Newman finds a farmer’s house, complete with the proverbial daughter. The mechanic throws the clubs and bag at Kramer’s truck, allowing him to get away. Deena is happy to see that George is getting the help he needs. Peterman is stunned when he finally gets the clubs, “Elaine, I never knew Kennedy had such a temper.”

George doesn’t hear the details on an important project that Wilhelm wants him to champion. Peterman wants Elaine to bid on a set of golf clubs at the Kennedy auction, her ceiling is $10,000; however, she gets into a bidding war with Sue Ellen, the Oh Henry! candy heiress. Consequently, she spends a bit more than she was authorized. Newman finds the missing ingredient to make it cost effective in Kramer’s scheme to collect used pop bottles and cans and take them to Michigan where the refund is doubled. Jerry takes his car to a mechanic, who’s fanatical about car care. Elaine meets Jerry to get the golf clubs out of his car, but the mechanic, distraught over Jerry’s negligence, steals it. Kramer and Newman collect their bottles and cans and hit the road in a mail truck.

George becomes Steinbrenner’s pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes “straight out of the dryer.” Jerry thinks that Elaine’s boyfriend is dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from Canada. Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend’s ability to get anything she wants. Kramer searches for quarters for the dryer; when he can’t find anymore, he starts using an oven. George gets into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop and he works out an arrangement with Newman. That is unless of course it’s raining (Newman doesn’t deliver mail in the rain); Kramer helps out.

Jerry uses Elaine to prove that a sales clerk is wrong about his looking at an expensive jacket. Elaine is picked up by the clerk. George has an unwanted house guest, a wig master for the touring company of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” He also has found a parking lot that charges $75 dollars a month; Kramer decides to put his car there. Unfortunately, he leaves his apartment key there. When he can’t get his key, he is allowed to borrow a pink Cadillac. Jerry is convinced the clerk is working Elaine. George discovers why the lot is so cheap, he finds a used condom in his car and is asking a prostitute for information, just as Susan approaches. George discovers that he may have an out with Susan; she says she must be able to trust him and have no doubts. Kramer stays at Jerry’s apartment. Elaine has a walking stick she lets Kramer have. Jerry tries to return his jacket, but discovers that “spite” isn’t a viable reason. Kramer is allowed to borrow the back up “Electric Color Dreamcoat.” Jerry is put out, when both sexes assume he isn’t in a relationship with the person he is with (Elaine in one instance, the Wig Master in the other). Kramer finds a fuzzy white hat. With all the parts put together, his new ensemble is a sight to behold, just ask the NYPD after he is caught pulling a prostitute out of his borrowed car.

George is happy because he has a three-month reprieve. The wedding is delayed until June (just in time for the end of the May sweeps and a cliffhanger!). Meanwhile he is also excited because Jerry is going to go out with Susan’s best friend. He envisions their friendship in the future as being “Gatsby”-like. Jerry is trying to get into the Friars Club, but loses a jacket he “borrowed” for dinner there, at a performance of comedic jugglers that was “worked on” by Susan’s friend. Kramer tries to duplicate the sleeping patterns of Da Vinci and falls asleep at some inopportune moments; one of which puts him put in the Hudson River. Peterman hires a deaf employee and Elaine suffers the consequences, when she gets loaded with some of his work. Trying to see how deaf he really is, Elaine comes on to him, which Peterman overhears and tries to help out their budding relationship.

Susan’s old roommate from college, Sally Weaver, gives Jerry a package that she wants him to be careful with; which he is, but he loses his own package in the process. Frank tells George he is turning his room into a billiard room. Elaine tells Frank about a man she saw in Tuscany who looks just like him, Frank thinks it may be the cousin who stayed behind. Kramer challenges him to a game where the space is a bit tight. Jerry is enthusiastic about a new toothbrush, which he is convinced Elaine must have. Susan has a doll that looks uncannily like George’s mother; she doesn’t believe it, but he does and it affects his performance. Jerry is going to be on Charles Grodin’s show with one of the Three Tenors, not Pavarotti or Domingo, but “the other guy.” Elaine goes with him the studio, to replace an autographed picture of “the other guy,” for “the Maestro” that was damaged while they were in Tuscany. “The Maestro” provides a new fashion for Kramer and Frank while playing pool, and his baton is an answer to the space problem in the billiard room. Susan’s roommate comes to town. She tries to help Jerry out by bringing him back a better barbecue sauce and bringing a doll to the studio for Jerry, which in her opinion, is much funnier than the one Jerry wanted. Jerry has no material for his appearance.

Elaine gets a physical for a pending trip with Peterman to Africa. Her physical test results show positive for opium, so Peterman fires her. Jerry’s parent are in seclusion in New York while biding time until they can move back to Florida. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida. The shower heads in Jerry’s building are being replaced with a new low-flow model; Newman finds a source for black market shower heads. The Seinfelds tell the Costanzas that there is no room for them in Florida that gives Frank all the incentive he needs to move. George is delighted. Elaine finds the cause of her opium addiction and finds a donor for her next physical. Jerry makes a joke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at the expense of Uncle Leo and he pays the price for making fun of the family.

Kramer continues to play with the cable guy. George’s obsession with Marisa makes Susan suspicious. Elaine calls Jerry in Florida and tells him she wants to come and join him. Elaine gets George Marisa’s phone number and now he needs her for an alibi (which involves her “boyfriend” Art Vandelay, an importer/ exporter). Morty’s ace in the hole, to keep him from impeachment, is the woman that Jerry stole the marble rye from, only she doesn’t remember him, at least at first. The cable guy zeros in on Kramer, but he gets away. George’s meeting with Marisa doesn’t go as well as planned and Susan thinks he’s having an affair with Elaine. The cable guy concedes defeat.

Jerry surprises his parents by buying them a new Cadillac, when his last job really pays well. Kramer, who now knows how much Jerry makes, says it will change their relationship. It certainly changes his relationship with Elaine, she’s interested again. George reconsiders his engagement when one of Elaine’s friends tells him that she could have set him up with Oscar winning actress, Marisa Tomei. The cable company wants to see Kramer and he takes the opportunity to get revenge on them. George wants to meet Marisa for a cup of coffee, even when Elaine’s friend is in the hospital with a heart condition. Jack Klompus accuses Morty of embezzling funds to pay for his new Cadillac.

Elaine sees a girl’s bike she wants, but she strains her neck trying to getting the bike down from the wall. In pain she promises the bike to whoever fixes her neck. Kramer saves the day and wants the bike. George is angry when Susan’s cousin chooses to name her baby with the name he planned to give his first offspring. He desperately tries to convince them to use another name. Kramer works out an arrangement with Jerry to keep track of what he takes from Jerry’s kitchen. Jerry is curious when his girlfriend is always wearing the same dress, every time they go out.

Kramer befriends a caddy, who helps him to improve his golf game and offer his other advice. George’s bosses consider him for a promotion when they think he is so dedicated to his work that he is there in the morning before everyone else and still there after they all leave. They don’t know that he’s just been leaving his car in the parking lot waiting for his free visit from a locksmith. Taking advantage of the situation, he and Susan go up north to her parent’s rebuilt cabin. Elaine meets an old rival who’s heir to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune and has never worn a bra. She wears the bra as a top and cause Kramer and Jerry to have an accident with George’s car. With George’s damaged car in the parking lot, the Yankees think he’s dead. Steinbrenner breaks the news to the Costanza’s. Kramer and Elaine take her rival to court and only Jerry may stand in the way.

Elaine is dating a jazz saxophonist who’s sponge-worthy but “he doesn’t really like to do everything.” Jerry tells one of the members of his band that the saxophonist and Elaine are “hot and heavy.” Kramer stocks up on supplies, including 50 cans of “Beef-A-Reeno”. Susan’s parents meet and have dinner with the Costanza’s for the first time. Both families obsess over a loaf of rye bread that wasn’t served with the meal, which Frank takes back home. Elaine’s boyfriend writes a song about “their relationship,” which later has a big impact on his career. Kramer takes over a friend’s horse-drawn carriage for a week and helps George out with his scheme to replace the rye bread. Unfortunately, he feeds the horse a can of “Beef-A-Reeno” right before giving the Ross’s their ride. Jerry manages to get his hands on a loaf of marble rye.

Kramer is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also is keeping an eye on a friend, Lloyd, who’s recovering from a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of Chinese gum that Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier short-changed him and meets a former neighbor (who’s had a breakdown) and his daughter, Deena. George lets his former neighbor look at his car. Elaine tries to avoid interacting with Lloyd, loses a button from her blouse and reveals herself to Lloyd and Kramer. Because of Elaine’s lie, Jerry must wear glasses while around Lloyd. Deena tells George that she thinks he is showing signs of being on the verge of a breakdown. George’s car, once owned by “Jon Voight”, catches fire. Elaine shows more to Lloyd. Jerry gets more gum. George keeps trying to convince Deena he’s not crazy.

Jerry finds the number of girl he wants to contact on Kramer’s AIDS walk sponsor list. After finding out that her preferred method of birth control is only available in a limited supply, Elaine must decide whether her current boyfriend is “sponge worthy.” George tells Susan the secret of the size of Jerry’s jeans and that leads to a fight about all secrets, he tells her another of Jerry’s secrets when they make up. Jerry finds out that George told Susan one of his secrets and now he’s “out of the loop.” Elaine adjusts her screening process to find worthy candidates. Kramer causes a disturbance at the AIDS walk when he won’t “wear the ribbon.”

Elaine has tickets for a historical clothing exhibit and realizes that she has no female friends; Jerry suggests that she ask Susan. Kramer suggests that is the wrong move and that George’s worlds will collide. Jerry meets his pool guy outside a movie, and then he can’t get rid of him. George is worried by Elaine wanting to get to know Susan, then he finds out it was Jerry’s idea. Kramer’s new phone number is similar to a film information line. When Kramer keeps getting wrong numbers, he begins giving out the information for movie show times a la “Moviefone.”

George tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is puzzled by a man she once met at a party and talked to for ten minutes, doesn’t remember her, but he does remember other party details. Leapin’ Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry to do spots for his store, but he is angered when he thinks Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency band scanner and decides to help reorganize operations at the NYFD. Elaine doesn’t want to go on a date with her boss, the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry and George at the restaurant. Jerry escapes, but George isn’t as lucky. He is forced to accompany Peterman to his Momma’s house, where he winds up staying all night and tells her his secret code before she dies. That is her last word. George’s code is needed in a life or death situation.

While on their way to the “soup place” Elaine finds an antique armoire she wants. George makes a mistake while trying to get his soup from the “Soup Nazi.” Elaine isn’t allowed to move her armoire into her building, so Kramer offers to watch it for her, out on the street. George and Elaine discuss how annoyed they are by Jerry’s sweet-talking with his current girlfriend, especially their calling each other “Schmoopie.” Elaine makes an ordering error in front of the “Soup Nazi,” gets on his bad side and is banned for a year. In broad daylight and in Kramer’s presence, two “tough” guys come along and take Elaine’s armoire. Kramer relates the story of the armoire to the “Soup Nazi,” who says he has an armoire in the basement that Kramer can have. Jerry’s girlfriend makes a faux pas in the “soup place” and Jerry disavows any knowledge of her. George confronts Jerry and reminds him about their pact. George and Susan see Jerry and his girlfriend at the diner and they begin to compete against each other. Susan appreciates that George is finally showing his feelings in public. Kramer gives Elaine the armoire and tells her where he got it. Elaine goes to thank the “Soup Nazi” but gets even further on his bad side. Jerry discovers the armoire contains the “Soup Nazi”‘s recipes and Elaine takes them for her final confrontation with the “Soup Nazi.”

George picks up a bad habit from some visiting baseball officials. During the time of the New York City Marathon, Elaine has an out of country runner as her house guest. The runner had overslept and missed the big race at the last Olympics and Jerry obsesses with ensuring that it doesn’t happen again. Kramer gets a hot tub from his friend Lomez and Elaine has writer’s block.

Elaine gets a blind date with the guy from her wake-up service; however, he likes dogs. A bit of grapefruit pulp, from Jerry’s healthy breakfast, gets into George’s eye and causes problems for him when his winks keep getting misinterpreted. Jerry’s healthy diet conflicts with his dating of Elaine’s cousin. Kramer promises a sick boy that Yankee Paul O’Neill will hit two home runs for him, so he can get back a birthday card that he sold based on George’s wink.

George is feeling the pressures of his relationship with Susan and decides that he needs to help a security guard that works at her uncle’s store. Kramer’s friend “Maestro,” makes a comment about getting a rental property in Tuscany that makes Jerry decide to do some research. Elaine begins dating the “Maestro.” Kramer’s out of court settlement in his lawsuit against the coffee house, free coffee at any location around the world, gets him “hopped up on the caffeine.” Jerry asks Poppy about Tuscany and is referred to Poppy’s cousin, who makes him an offer he can’t refuse.

Elaine’s dog problem is solved by a neighborly rabbi with a cable show. Kramer’s involvement in the dognapping worries him when he finds out about its impact on his permanent record. Overwhelmed with it all, George decides he wants to postpone the engagement. Elaine isn’t “concerned” with George’s intentions, but is really jealous that he’s the first of the group to get engaged. The neighborly rabbi offers advice on her problem, that he later relates to Jerry and anyone else who’ll listen. Kramer and Jerry try to see “Plan 9 From Outer Space”; however, Kramer “tries” to sneak in a gourmet coffee, spills it and his lawyer says he has a case.

Jerry and George reevaluate their relationships with women, so they make “a pact” to change their ways, though Jerry doesn’t know it. Elaine has a problem sleeping in her new apartment because of a nearby constantly barking dog; Kramer recommends a solution. George gets back with Susan, his former girlfriend from NBC; he asks her to marry him, and after a couple hours of convincing she says yes. Kramer, his solution (Newman) and Elaine commit a dognapping and take the dog far out of the city. Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend again; however, George is now trapped in his relationship with Susan, almost to the point where he is married already. Elaine almost gets a good night of sleep.

George and Jerry are suspected, by the cast and Kramer, of deliberately injuring Bette Midler during a softball game, giving Jerry’s girlfriend, Bette’s understudy, a chance to perform. Kramer becomes Bette’s personal assistant. Elaine gets George’s father to translate for her when she suspects that her manicurist has made some obvious snide remarks in a foreign tongue. While crying about losing her manicurists, Elaine meets the owner of a catalog, J. Peterman, and gets herself a new job.

George and his girlfriend discuss toilet paper and he is in love. Elaine’s boyfriend paints his face and his behavior at a hockey game, disturbs Jerry, Elaine and a passing priest. A monkey throws a banana peel at Kramer, when he throws it back, the monkey becomes depressed and the zoo demands an apology. George tries to tell his girlfriend that he loves her, but her reaction surprises him. Jerry refuses to give the “necessary” follow-up courtesy thank you for the hockey tickets and Kramer is outraged.

After his quick trip to Ithaca, Jerry plans to meet a super model at an airport club, but his assistant, Katie, makes the trip a nightmare. Elaine says she will quit working for Mr. Pitt, but finds out that she’s going to be in his will. She becomes a suspect when he overdoses his medication. George tries to prove to his boss that he is not a racist, when he says his boss looks like “Sugar” Ray Leonard. To prove it, he tries to find anyone who’s black that will be his friend. While at the airport club, Kramer meets a rich Texan with whom he starts making bets. Kramer hasn’t gambled in three years and when he begins to lose, he calls in Newman for reinforcement.

Estelle is getting an eye job. Kramer gets his new license plates from the DMV, but the plates say “ASSMAN.” Jerry is disturbed when he finds out his mechanic used his “move” on Elaine while making love to her. Kramer makes a statue of Jerry out of fusilli pasta and he makes the most of his new license plates. Jerry confronts his mechanic and later requires his services. Frank becomes the unwitting victim of one of those “freak” accidents proctologists are always telling stories about.

Jerry is disgusted when he finds out he was eating pecans that were just in his girlfriend’s mouth. George finds a doodle that his girlfriend drew of him. Kramer is eating some tasty peaches that come in season for two weeks every year. Fleas force Jerry and his visiting parents out his apartment. Elaine has an interview with a publisher that has suite of rooms at a fancy hotel and that is where Jerry parents get to stay. Jerry stays with his girlfriend. Elaine must go into Jerry’s fumigated apartment to get an unpublished manuscript that she is supposed to read for her interview and she can’t find it, but Kramer read it in Jerry’s apartment and the gas causes him to lose his sense of taste. George finds out that his girlfriend really doesn’t care what he looks like. Jerry figures out that Newman gave him the fleas. Meanwhile, Jerry’s parents, Uncle Leo and Nana live high on the hog at the hotel.

The guys play a game of basketball with “the Jimmy,” a man who talks about himself in the third person. Jimmy sells odd shaped training shoes and George is an interested investor. Fresh from the gym, he attends a Yankees meeting about thefts, during which he sweats profusely. Jerry goes to the dental office and discovers they now carry Penthouse in the waiting room. Elaine gets tickets to a benefit for the AMCA (Able Mentally Challenged Adults) featuring Mel Torme, the “Velvet Fog.” Elaine tries to meet a handsome guy at the gym, but instead talks with “the Jimmy,” who makes the date for himself. On a follow-up visit to the dental office, Jerry feels the dentist and his hygienist may have lived out a fantasy during his time in the chair, the type of thing you might read in Penthouse. Kramer has a visit to the dentist complete with Novocain, later while wearing a pair of Jimmy’s shoes, winds up getting a him a seat at the main table of the benefit.