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After Peter has some luck selling footage of a celebrity he caught off-guard, he decides to become a full-time paparazzo. To make matters worse, his new boss, Angela, finds him irresistible and plagues him with unwanted advances. When Peter rebuffs her, he winds up getting the ax. Meanwhile, Stewie makes his theatrical debut in a school play, only to be overcome with stage fright.
Stewie cross-dresses in order to star in the American version of Jolly Farm Revue. Meanwhile, Peter makes Lois feel bad about her age.
When Chris and Stewie go missing for several days, Lois is at her wit’s end until she sees a psychic who assures her they are safe. Even after the boys return home, Lois and Peter’s psychic obsession continues, and Peter takes it a step too far when he starts charging neighbors for his extrasensory perception. Meanwhile, Chris develops a crush on a girl at school.
Brian gets a gig writing for a teen magazine about the average American girl, but when he starts trailing Meg for research he discovers that her desperate attempts at dating have led her to a guy in the slammer. When Brian tries to expose Meg’s secret to the family, he finds out that her boyfriend, Luke, has broken out of jail and has been hiding in the Griffin’s house.
When Peter hits his head and suffers amnesia after getting in a fight with Richard Dawson on Family Feud, he forgets everything about his life, including his family and friends. In an attempt to try to bring back his memory, Lois decides to reintroduce Peter to his old self, until he begins to hit on other women, much to Lois’s dismay. She decides to take the kids and leave Peter, giving Quagmire the opportunity to score with Lois. Peter now must prove to Lois he can remember her and make himself worthy of her again.
When Peter gives Lois’ dad the bachelor party he never had, Mr. Pewterschmidt goes into a coma. Even Dr. House can’t help. Lois gains control of Pewterschmidt Industries which she passes to Peter. He gets power-hungry and fires the board. Mr. Pewterschmidt bounces back and tries to regain control of what he’s built.
When Brian accidentally kills another dog, he is surprised to see that no one cares, so he tries to convince everyone that the life of a dog should have the same value as a human one. Meanwhile, Lois hires a maid who doesn’t listen to Peter
Peter and the guys interview potential friends to fill the vacancy left by Cleveland. Meanwhile, Brian discovers that Quagmire hates him.
Father doesn’t know best when Quagmire assumes responsibility for a baby left at his doorstep. Meanwhile, Stewie creates a stupid clone of himself that he uses as a slave. When he ends up creating a clone for Brian too, they find out that the clones are unstable, at which point the clones break down.
After attending to the concert of a teen superstar, Stewie discovers a surprising secret about the singer. Meanwhile back at home, Chris tries to prove the existence of the Evil Monkey.
When Brian begins dating an older woman, the family begins to make fun of him. After Brian’s new fling breaks her hip, he gets the pleasure of becoming her errand boy.
Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd move to Quahog. Brian and Stewie find out about their secret agency. They are told that there are Russian Sleeper Cells all over US. They go talk to Mayor West, and find out he is one of the sleeper cells. They follow Mayor West to Russia where they disable a nuke aimed at the US.
When Lois finds a lump on her breast, she goes to the doctor to test for cancer. The tests come back benign, but the doctor looks at her family medical history and reveals some news about Lois’ heritage.
With the help of an out-of-this-world remote control, Stewie and Brian travel through alternate universes, including a post-apocalyptic world and a parallel world run by dogs where humans are pets.
Peter imagines his friends and family in three of Stephen King’s most famous works. Stand by Me parody – Twelve-year old Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe travel along a railroad track on a journey of self-discovery. Misery parody – Brian is injured in a bad car crash only to be “rescued” by his “number one fan,” Stewie. The Shawshank Redemption parody – Cleveland and Peter become fast friends in prison.
Peter learns from a psychic through a palm reading that he had a fascinating past life in the 17th century as Griffin Peterson, a dignified English gentleman who vied for the love of Lady Redbush in the newly founded American colony of Quahog.
When Brian discovers that his beloved Jillian is getting married, he hits the sauce to drown his sorrows. The next morning, he wakes up with more than a hangover. After realizing he has hooked up with “The Hills” star Lauren Conrad, he wants to run and hide. When Brian discovers Lauren is nothing like how she’s portrayed on TV, he thinks he may have found his perfect match – if only he can let Jillian go.
Stewie starts going to the gym with Peter after he gets beaten up by Joe’s baby daughter Susie, but just when it seems that his hard work is paying off, Peter reveals that he’s been giving him anabolic steroid. Meanwhile, Chris begins dating a popular girl at school, only to see her popularity subside.
Brian and Stewie attempt to rally Quahog to try and legalize marijuana.
Meg becomes extremely religious, and tries to convert Brian from Atheism. Meanwhile, after the family visits a Star Trek convention, Stewie kidnaps the entire cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation and forces them to hang out with him.
Lois gets a job working for FOX News and has to do a report on a liberal filmmaker. However, she loses the job when her story implicates a conservative radio host.
Peter finds an old winning raffle ticket from 1989 that entitles him a golf outing with O.J. Simpson. After befriending him, Peter brings O.J. home home to meet the family. However, the people of Quahog aren’t too fond of the former running back.
To help pay off his incredible debt, Peter participates in medical experiments to make some extra cash. First, he is injected with the “Seth Rogen” gene that “gives you the appearance of being funny even though you haven’t actually done anything funny.” Then he is injected with a gene that leads him to a new mate, leaving a broken-hearted Lois behind. Although the family is crushed, they quickly realize the most important thing is that Peter is happy.
After being pregnant for seven years, Bonnie finally gives birth to a beautiful baby girl named Susie! Stewie quickly falls for the little tyke and vows to do anything to win her heart and get in her diaper. Meanwhile, Joe borrows $20,000 from a bookie to pay for Bonnie’s medical bills, but then plans to steal the money from Mr. Pewterschmidt to pay his debt.
Peter’s boss Angela sends him back to the third grade so that he can qualify for a work promotion. Meanwhile, Brian, Frank Sinatra Jr. and Stewie open the coolest club in Quahog.
Eight-year-old Brian (who is 56 in dog years) seems to have lost a step or two, so Peter gets a new talking dog, New Brian, to “take some of the load off” the old one, who doesn’t like the idea at all.
Peter gets a lasting supply of gasoline for the year, so the family decides to use it to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon. They pack up and hit the road, but it takes them a while to realize that they had forgotten to bring Stewie with them; when they do, they must make their way home posthaste.
Mort Goldman accidentally steps into Stewie’s time machine and goes back in time to 1939 Poland, and Brian and Stewie follow to retrieve him. When they find him, the Nazis invade and Mort is taken to Germany, where Stewie and Brian must go to save him, as well as find a way back to the present.
When Peter re-discovers his love for the painfully annoying yet seductively catchy tune “Surfin’ Bird,” Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands to ensure that the song will never be heard again! On the verge of tears, Peter goes to every record store in Quahog to track down his beloved jingle, and he runs into a familiar face and ends up hanging out with Jesus Christ.
Dissatisfied with his current love life, Brian decides to slow things down when he meets the girl of his dreams, Carolyn. However, Cleveland soon sweeps Carolyn off her feet, and Brian must do anything he can do, to win her back, even if it means involving Cleveland’s ex-wife, Loretta.
When Peter gets a pet parrot, he begins acting like a pirate. Peter accidentally kills the bird after raising hell through all of Quahog. Meanwhile, when Brian is visiting the vet, Chris falls in love with the intern, Anna.
Brian, afraid that he may have lost his last chance at love, searches for a former flame, Tracy. To his surprise, he discovers that he is the father to her son, Dylan. Tracy decides that Brian should raise the boy, and she drops him off at the Griffin’s house. When Dylan runs rough-shot in the house, Brian’s attitude towards parenting doesn’t settle too well with Lois and Peter.
Peter and Lois’s marriage hits a bit of a snag. When Brian wins the New England Rising Writer’s award, the three of them head to Martha’s Vineyard for a nice relaxing vacation. Peter’s usual drinking habits take over, and he soon spirals out of control, as does Brian’s self restraint, as he soon professes his love for Lois. Peter and Brian test their friendship over the woman of their dreams.
James Woods returns to seek revenge against Peter. James Woods finds Peter’s wallet, which he lost at Barry Manilow concert, and procedes to steal Peter’s identity, and his family. Peter decides to ruin James’ career and image.
Peter starts an anti-immigration group, however, he quickly changes his mind when he finds out that he was born in Mexico. Unable to prove his citizenship, pass the naturalization test or convince investigators that his marriage to Lois is for real, he ends up working for Carter as a landscaper, all the while fighting for immigration rights.
After Quahog is hit by a flood, Meg winds up in the hospital in a coma. When she wakes up and sees a cute med student, they immediately hit it off. Overprotective of his daughter, Peter is determined to drive the med student away. That is until Meg reveals that she is pregnant.
Peter starts an anti-immigration group after being caught up in the pro-American sentiment at a Veterans’ Day parade, but his tune quickly changes when he finds out he was born in Mexico. Unable to prove his citizenship, pass the naturalization test or convince investigators that his marriage to Lois is for real, he ends up working as a groundskeeper on his father-in-law’s estate and leading the fight for immigrant rights.
Presumed dead, Lois returns from the wilderness and names Stewie as her killer. On the look out for Stewie, Joe leads a manhunt around Quahog. Determined to take over the world again, Stewie auditions for the American Idol. Desperate to stop Stewie, Lois realizes what she must do.
Lois and Peter sail off on a cruise. Jealous that he was left behind, Stewie’s matricidal tendencies are rekindled. When Brian challenges him to actually do it, Stewie carries out his diabolical plan.